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Supporting Emotional Regulation Through Language
Toddlers (18–36 Months)
A professional guidance document supporting confident, relational toddler practice
Purpose of This Document
This document explains how emotional regulation is supported through language in toddler rooms for children aged 18–36 months.
It is designed to:
support practitioners in responding confidently to toddlers’ emotions and behaviour
clarify the role of language in co-regulation
ensure consistent, developmentally appropriate practice
provide clear articulation for leadership and inspection conversations
At this stage, emotional regulation is co-regulated, not self-managed.
Our Understanding of Emotional Regulation in Toddlerhood
Toddlers are still developing the neurological and emotional capacity to manage their feelings independently.
They may:
experience intense emotions
struggle to express feelings verbally
move quickly between emotional states
rely on trusted adults to help them feel safe and understood
Emotional regulation develops through repeated experiences of being supported, not through expectation or correction.
Co-Regulation: The Adult’s Role
Co-regulation is the process by which adults support toddlers to manage emotions before they are able to do so independently.
In practice, adults:
stay calm and emotionally available
offer physical and emotional reassurance
name feelings without judgement
provide predictable responses
model regulated behaviour
Language is a central tool in this process.
Why Language Matters for Regulation
Language supports emotional regulation by:
helping toddlers make sense of how they feel
reducing uncertainty and anxiety
strengthening attachment and trust
giving children words they will later use independently
For toddlers, language is heard, felt and absorbed long before it is used fluently.
How We Use Language to Support Regulation
1. Naming Feelings
Adults name emotions as they arise:
“You look sad.”
“That was frustrating.”
“You’re feeling cross.”
Feelings are acknowledged without trying to fix or dismiss them.
2. Narrating What Is Happening
Adults describe situations calmly and clearly:
“The block fell down.”
“It’s hard to wait.”
“Your tower broke.”
This helps toddlers understand cause and effect without blame.
3. Offering Reassuring Language
Adults use consistent, comforting phrases:
“I’m here.”
“You are safe.”
“I will help you.”
Predictable language supports emotional security.
4. Modelling Regulation Language
Adults model language that reflects calm problem-solving:
“Let’s take a breath.”
“We can try again.”
“I will help you.”
This language is not expected to be repeated by the child immediately.
What We Avoid in Toddler Rooms
To protect emotional development, adults avoid:
asking toddlers to explain or justify their feelings
using language that shames, threatens or distracts
insisting on apologies before regulation
over-verbalising during moments of high distress
Silence, presence and touch are sometimes more supportive than words.
Regulation Through Routines and Repetition
Language used consistently during routines supports regulation.
For example:
“Shoes on, then outside.”
“Snack first, then story.”
“Mummy comes back after sleep.”
Predictable language reduces anxiety and supports understanding over time.
Supporting Non-Verbal Communication
Toddlers communicate through:
gestures
facial expressions
movement
behaviour
Adults respond to all forms of communication by:
acknowledging the message
responding calmly
pairing actions with simple language
Language follows the child’s communication, not the other way around.
Emotional Regulation, Behaviour and Schemas
Some behaviours linked to distress are also connected to:
sensory needs
schematic exploration
communication frustration
Adults interpret behaviour through a developmental lens rather than a disciplinary one.
Inclusion and Emotional Regulation
This approach supports inclusion by:
valuing all communication
reducing behaviour-based responses
supporting children with language delays or SEND
prioritising understanding over compliance
Support is relational, preventative and embedded in everyday practice.
What Progress Looks Like Over Time
Progress in emotional regulation may be seen when toddlers:
seek comfort from familiar adults
recover from distress more quickly
begin to anticipate routines
use gestures, sounds or words to express feelings
Progress is gradual and deeply individual.
Summary
In our toddler rooms:
emotional regulation is co-regulated
language supports safety, understanding and trust
adults model calm and empathy
behaviour is viewed as communication
By using language intentionally and compassionately, we support toddlers to develop the emotional foundations they need for lifelong wellbeing.
Document Updated: January 2026
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(This pathway component is currently available to read on the page above and will be available for download by: March 31st 2026)
Recommended next read Selection
Additional Documents | Professional Membership Contents (Toddlers 18-36 months)
Navigate our Curriculum & Pedagogy guidance documents here.
Pedagogical identity:
Relationship-led, sensory-rich toddler practice grounded in schemas, play, and responsive adult interaction.
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👉 This section prevents over-planning and aligns practice.
Toddler Pedagogy Position Statement – How Toddlers Learn (18–36 Months) [Free Orienting Sample]
Toddler Curriculum Overview & Rationale[Free Orienting Sample]
Curriculum Intent in Toddler Rooms (What It Means — and What It Doesn’t)
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👉 Adult understanding, not child targets.
Progression across 6-month bands (18–24 | 24–30 | 30–36 months)
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👉 Observation is the driver of planning.
Communication & Language
PSED
Physical Development
Maths Seeds
Characteristics of Effective Learning
Behaviour & Emotional Regulation
Schema Observation & Analysis
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👉 The environment does the teaching.
Universal Continuous Provision
Continuous Provision Setup Guides | Toddler Room
Small World
Messy / Wet Play
Dry Sensory & Loose Parts
Construction
Role Play / Home Corner
Mark Making
Book Area / Reading Nook
Music & Sound
Outdoor
Continuous Provision Maps (18–36 Months)
C&L
PSED
PD
Maths Seeds
Literacy Seeds
UW
EAD
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👉 Movement, regulation and sensory experience.
Outdoor Continuous Provision Pack
Outdoor Zone-by-Zone Setup Guide (Gross Motor, Sensory/Nature, Creative/Mark Making, Small World Outside, Water/Mud)
Seasonal Adjustments Planner
Outdoor Risk–Benefit Assessment Template + examples
Nature-Based Learning & Schema Guide
Outdoor Mark Making & Literacy Opportunities Sheet
Outdoor Maths Seeds Sheet
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👉 Projects are optional contexts, not directives.
How Projects Work in Toddler Rooms (Guidance)
Project/Theme Planners:
12 × Main Project Planners (3–4 Weeks)
8 × Mini-Project Planners (1 Week)
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👉 Invitations, provocations and shared experiences.
Supports Child-led learning and responsive provision
Area of Learning Progression Maps & Adult Focus Sessions
(Organised by Age Band: 18–24 months | 24–30 months | 30–36 months)
Supports intentional teaching, vocabulary development and staff confidence
Understanding the World – Experience Progression Pack
Expressive Arts & Design – Creative Media & Expression Toolkit
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👉 Proportionate, meaningful assessment.
Report Template
Practitioner Guidance
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👉 Early identification, gentle support.
SEND Inclusion Strategy Pack (18–36 Months)
Practical SEND & inclusion strategies for toddlers aged 18–36 months
Six quick-reference strategy sheets covering communication, sensory needs, anxiety and behaviour
Aligned with the EYFS Framework and the Assess–Plan–Do–Review approach
Inclusive, diagnosis-free guidance ready to use in everyday practice
Ideal for observations, provision planning, team use and Ofsted evidence
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👉 Strong partnerships, realistic expectations.
Transition
Home–Setting Communication
Parent Information Pages
Additional Whole-Setting Guidance | for Professional Members
Explore our whole-setting guidance below, including overarching curriculum and pedagogy documents, early years schemas and EYFS setting policies.
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Early Years Schemas - Practitioner Toolkit | EYFS Birth-5
↪ Schema Cards (definition, behaviours, age-related examples, enabling resources)
↪ Schema Observation & Responsive Provision Planning Template
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EYFS Group Setting Policies Pack
↪ x 22 Policy Documents
↪ Policy Sign-Off and Confirmation Document
↪ EYFS Setting Policy Folder Contents List
Childminder Setting Policies Pack
↪ x 22 Policy Documents
↪ Childminder Assistant or Volunteer Policy Sign-Off and Confirmation Document
↪ Childminder Policy Folder Contents List
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↪ Clear, practitioner-friendly explanations of key curriculum and pedagogy terms used throughout our guidance.
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Content within the EYFS Curriculum & Pedagogy Membership is provided as professional guidance and support. It reflects current understanding of the EYFS statutory framework, Development Matters and inspection expectations at the time of writing. Practitioners are responsible for applying professional judgement and ensuring practice aligns with current statutory requirements and their specific context. All resources, experiences and environment arrangements must be risk assessed by the setting and used in accordance with individual children’s developmental stages, needs and supervision requirements.
Safeguarding content does not replace a setting’s safeguarding and child protection policy or the statutory role of the Designated Safeguarding Lead (DSL). All concerns must be managed in line with current statutory guidance and local safeguarding procedures.
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